Negativity - Day 8

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within ‘thoughts’ of negativity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating/participating/forming thoughts and attaching ideas, emotions, beliefs, thoughts , memories, experiences, past/future projections, images, desires, fears, worries, concerns, judgements in relation to ‘negativity’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this one ‘emotion’ of ‘negativity’ to dictate and rule my life since childhood as I was in/around a very ‘negative’ household and environment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see out of al the feelings/emotions that exist within me, ‘negativity’ is without a doubt , the one ‘emotion’ I’ve participated the most through out my life, on a consistent basis, non stop, creating everything I possibly could in relation to ‘mind participation’ within ‘negativity’ 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘judge’ myself for creating/participating in such a destructive ‘energy’ within, and thus manifesting these ‘negative experiences’ in my life on all levels, within myself, within my relationships and world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ‘suppressing’ al the ‘negativity’ that exists within me and trying to ‘think’ about ‘positivity’ instead in which it always made matters worse in the long run

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how  ‘thoughts’ and participation within ‘negativity’ in your mind can lead to destructive habits, thoughts, projections 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to truly get addicted to ‘negativity’ not only within my ‘mind participation’ but in my reality, in which there were many physically manifested consequences in relation to family, friends, myself and my world in general

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize how ‘negativity’ or the starting point of ‘negativity’ in relation to the mind, and attaching it to thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, memories, experiences, traumas, past/future projections, desires, images, fears, worries, concerns, habits, patterns, in which many I ended up LIVING OUT, in my reality, as the pull of this ‘energy’ was so strong, and after much participation within this ‘emotion’, there were many outbursts, and the need, ‘desire’ to get this ‘emotion’ out of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘blame’ others for the ‘negativity’ that I CREATED within me, not anyone else , it’s always been me, due to my specific ‘mind participation’ , this ‘negativity’ was created, not because of the people around men, but how I responded to the people around, creating/forming thoughts, ideas, beliefs, experiences, projections, comparisons, fears, worries, concerns, insecurities, desires, fantasies, hate, judgements, anger not only towards myself but the people around me or people I know/interacted with

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that if you participate within ‘negativity’, on a consistent basis, non stop, like a ever ending cycle that it can morph and change into thoughts like aggression, violence, discord, self hate, self judgement and unnecessary fears, worries, concerns

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow ‘negativity’ to dominate myself and thus me searching out this ‘negativity’ outside of myself in relation to people, wanting it, ‘desiring’ it, seeking it out in which I could have put myself in dangerous/precarious situations in which luckily I didn’t get myself In, but in hindsight I was looking for that, too almost ‘feel’ alive as the reality I created/manifested for myself was not enjoyable, so I would look for ways to ‘feel’ more alive 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how ‘negativity’ also relates to ‘feelings’ of wanting, ‘desiring’ revenge to someone who I ‘feel’ may have wronged me in the past, and thus wanting to get even

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jot see and realize just how much ‘negativity’ I’ve been holding in, in relation to specific, specific beings in my reality, but most of all myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become self destructive in relation to my ‘desire’, ‘attachment’, to the ‘emotion’ of ‘negativity’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing ‘negativity’ to dictate my ‘judgements’ of other people, always ‘feeling’ like they are the ‘enemy’ or someone is out to get me/harm me whether it be physically and emotionally and thus creating this ‘paranoia’, which in reality, all it did was push me away from people, make me avoid people, avoid specific interactions with people, not open myself up to people, when in reality it was thorough generating/creating/forming ‘thoughts’ of ‘negativity’ attached to ‘energy’ in which I would participate In specific thoughts for so long/consistently that they were almost supercharged with ‘energy’ which caused explosive reactions within me/outside of me, towards myself, towards others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, that within this participation of ‘negativity’ in my mind, that I was creating false enemies, enemies that didn’t exist, but through generating this ‘emotion’, I was manifesting it, picking and choosing who may or may not be an enemy, unnecessary ‘judging’ people based on my preconceived notions about them, all created from the starting point of ‘mind participation’ and my ‘desire’, addiction to ‘energy’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create much fear, worries, concerns due to my negativity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize to what extent this ‘negativity’ has manifested in my life, as I can see all the physically manifested consequences in relation to it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘fear’ my own creations/experiences of ‘negativity’ within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, if I stop all the self created ‘negativity’ within my mind through  ‘mind participation’, much good will come from that, much change will happen, as this one point has been so dominant in my life, that if I take the necessary steps to stop ALL FORMS of ‘negativity’ that exist with me, I can slowly start to piece my life together, piece by piece, but by not, if I stand up and become responsible for each individual thought, feeling, emotion, belief, memories, past/future projections, desires, comparisons, images, judgements, fears, worries, concerns, ideas in relation to myself, others, and the world, that I can sort and cleanse myself of all the ‘negativity’ that exists within and outside of me. Just like it took a specific process, a walking to create/form all this ‘negativity’, the same must be done to cleanse myself of all the bullshit that exists within me in regards to ‘negativity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself how ‘negativity’ is a specific pattern/habit/system in which it generates much energy to FEED the ego ‘energy’ to keep it charged 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see/realize how much ‘ego’ has had to do with much/of not all the negativity I created in my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see/realize the habits/patterns in relation to negativity that I created within me, are specifically designed to feed the ‘ego’ ‘energy’, in which the ‘mind, ego’ will throw out specific ‘thoughts’ in relation to ‘negativity’ to get a ‘reaction’ out of me, in which the ‘ego’ has been very successful at, I ALWAYS took the bait, my ‘negative’ thoughts would cause big/extreme reactions within myself, in which it was a perfect design to keep the ‘ego’ fed the energy it ‘desires’, and in me not having the tools of self writing, sf/sc statements, breath, self honesty, I would not have been able to figure this out or what exactly was happening within me, and thus would have been stuck in a never ending state/cycle of creating/recreating ‘negativity’ within me and outside of me

When and as I see myself participating within ‘negativity’ or the ‘emotion’ of ‘negativity’ comes up with me in relation to/attached to thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, memories, experiences, comparisons, desires, judgements, images, fears, worries, concerns, past/future projections, fantasies attached to energy, I STOP, and breath. I realize this specific ‘emotion’ and ‘negativity’ has ruled and dictated my inner/out experience of myself for the better part of my life, I realize that if I don’t stop NOW, that this will indeed be a never ending cycle, creating/recreating ‘negativity’ within my mind and without my life, all for the sole purpose to have a particular/specific/desired experience within my mind. I realize that it took a process to create these systems/habits/patterns in which there is now much energy attached to them, which come out in reactions within myself towards ‘thoughts’ , and physically manifested outside of myself in relation to myself , others and the world , which I can see within my interactions with them. I realize what I have done, what I have created, and why I created it, I see the clear cut patterns as to how I’ve gotten myself and my life to this point in relation to ‘negativity’, and within that I realize how I can stop it. The only way to stop the ‘negativity’ I created through ‘mind participation’ with all the ‘energetic attachments’ correlated to them, is Breath. Only focusing on what’s real,here, in every moment, taking responsibility for every moment, applying the tools of self writing, self forgiveness, self corrective statements and within doing that, I will let go of all the attachments/energetic attachments/reactions I have towards and within ‘negativity’. I will be able to find the origin, nature and specificity of al the points of ‘negativity’ that exist within me in all the forms that exist, this can only be done through the tools given for self correction.

I commit myself to no longer, so easily give in to the pull, ‘desire’ to experience/create ‘negativity’ within my self in al the forms of thoughts it exists in

I commit myself to stop allowing  ‘negativity’ and the many forms ‘negativity that exist within me to dictate my inner and outer experience of myself, I will no longer allow this ‘emotion’ to have any control over me 

I commit myself to no longer seek out ‘negativity’

I commit myself to not create anymore thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, comparisons, desires, memories, experiences, traumas, past/future projections, images, fears, worries, concerns, judgements in relation to the starting point of ‘negativity’ 

I commit myself to not allow myself to react within the starting point of ‘negativity’ whether it’s within my mind or within my interactions with people

I commit myself to not ‘blame’ anyone for my ‘negative’ experiences as I’m the sole creator of what exists within me on all levels

I commit myself to not ‘feel’ or ‘think’ there is no way out of this attachment, pull I have towards and within ‘negativity’

I commit myself to no longer allow myself to ‘think’, ‘feel’ this ‘negativity’ that resides within me is REAL, as it not, it’s a creation of the ‘mind’, ‘ego’, and the ‘desire’ for and to create ‘energy’ within myself to feed these many systems of ‘negativity’ that exist within me

I commit myself to realize that there many, many consequences within participating in an emotion like ‘negativity’. NONE OF IT GOOD, no good has ever came in my life within participating in this ‘emotion’. All it’s done is mess up relationships, cause turmoil/drama/fights/arguments/fears/worries/concerns within myself and outside of my self in reality in which these manifested as consequences due to my participation in it. 

I commit myself to let go all points of ‘negativity’ I have within me, towards myself, others and the world as ALL OF IT, was created from a starting point of fear, dishonesty and ego, had I had the tools of self writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, I would not have allowed things to get tot he point that they have, but it is what it is, I will take all responsibility for my creation

I commit myself to no longer create ‘emotions’ like self hate, self judgement, anger at self, annoyance towards myself due to my participation within ‘negativity’ 

I commit myself to see/realize in what areas this ‘negativity’ as manifested in my life specifically, is it specific ideas/beliefs I have of myself, others and the world ? Is it specific memories/experiences I’m holding in ? Is it specific projections/fantasies I’ve participated in ? Is it due to a specific individual who I may hold ‘blame’ towards my experience of ‘negativity’ within me? Is it purely self created delusion/ego/desire for energy, in which I turned the wheels of the mind and participated within this pattern/construct ?