Energy addiction - Day 5

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to energy and participating within energy within my mind in the various forms it exists

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see just how addictive energy is/can be

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed by energy in the mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be aware of all the forms of energy that exists within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for my past participation within energy in the mind 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the energy I created

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the energy I created

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid/suppress the energy I created

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to underestimate the thoughts/patterns/habits I created due to energy participation, in which these thoughts/patterns/habits ruled my life internally and externally

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve that I could overcome energy just by merely breathing through it, which is true to an extent, but based on the individual point of energy I’m dealing with, there will be self investigative work that’ll need to be done on top of applying Breath, self honesty

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see on how many levels, how many layers of energy i created through the participation in thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, memories, desires, comparison, fantasies, fears, worries, concerns, past/future projections, images, habits, patterns

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve that it may be impossible to overcome and release all the energy that exists within me , due to creating this ‘idea’ within myself that it’s ‘too much’, ‘I don’t know if I can, I don’t know how’, ‘I should just give up and go back to my old ways, it’ll be easier to suppress it, and pretend it’s not there’, ‘it’ll take too long’, ‘it’s too overwhelming’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the many forms of energy that exist within me took a long process to create, through mind participation, generating this energy, attaching this energy to thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, memories, images, experiences, pictures, past/future projections, judgements. So in realizing that, I just accept the fact that it’ll take time, a physical process to walk through, step by step. Just writing about it won’t mean it will go away, these forms of energy will show itself again, and it’s my duty to apply the tools of breath, self writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements and to be diligent in the moment, and refuse to go back to my old ways/habits/patterns

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick and choose which forms of energy I want to participate in, whether I deemed it to be ‘good’ or ‘barn, ‘negative’ or ‘positive’, when in reality it doesn’t matter, mind participation is mind participation, energy is energy, whether it be negative or positive, the goal is to transcend these systems of energy. Positive energy isn’t any different than negative energy, both will keep you stuck/addicted to the mind and participating in the mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘feel’, ‘think’ that ‘positive’ energy was different from ‘negative’ energy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting stuck in participating in both ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ energy , as neither of them was supportive for me in my life , at no point in participating in positive energy , helped me, or supported me in sorting my life out and all the bullshit I created. It was just another layer of energy I have to walk through a process of clearing outside of my body

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself within anger, annoyance, self hate due to me taking so long to figure this out, 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how addictive energy really is, and what participating in the many forms of energy can cause within you and outside of you. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that all forms of energy is to feed the mind/ego, to keep the systems that you created within you, to keep going , to make sure it’s fed it’s daily dose, thus allowing it to exist

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how correlated energy and Ego are correlated, the Ego cannot exist without energy, as energy is what creates ego, mind participation from the starting point of energy , is what Keeps the Ego alive, and the more you participate within energy, the bigger/more charged your ego will be, and the more energy your ego will require, thus causing your inner and outer reality to become uncomfortable, stressful, reactionary, without an ability to stop unless you apply the tools of Breath, self forgiveness, self corrective statements, as Breath is what stops the ego/energy, breath stops the ego from continually being fed energy , and thus stopping the constant cycle of the mind and energy 

I commit myself to breath, and within the starting point of breath, catch myself in the many forms of energy I participate in, and in becoming aware of what forms of energy I’m participating in, I will be able to stop myself from continuing this cycle, I will be able to in specificity see what  is exactly that I’m participating in, and within that specificity, find the points of energy that exist within me. From there, I will write out in detail and specificity exactly what it is I’m participating in, whether it be a thought, feeling , emotion, belief, desire, comparison, judgement, fear, fantasy, worry, concern, habit, system, memory, experience, pattern, image, picture, 

I commit myself to not fear the energy I created

I commit myself to not avoid the energy o created

I commit myself to sort these many forms of energy that exist within me, and write and live them out of me, through breath, and application of all the tools

I commit myself to no longer allow energy to dictate how I ‘feel’ or experience myself

I commit myself to no longer project these systems of energy that exist within me through reactions, interactions

I commit myself to see which forms of energy in relation to thoughts/systems/habits rule my life

I commit myself to not allow myself to ‘feel’ like there’s too much ‘energy’ and points of ‘energy’ to sort through 

I commit myself to not judge these many forms of energy I created within me as the starting point of this ‘energy’ was dishonesty, ego, fear, projections, being lost within my self and my life and just not having the tools necessary to figure out what was truly/honestly going on inside of me based in the laws of what’s actually real, which is physical reality, physical mind, equality, equality equation 1+1=2, what’s best for all, breath, self honesty

I commit myself to build the momentum, the physical actions, commitments, habits necessary to overcome this energy/energetic attachments/energetic manifestations I created in the form of habits/patterns/thoughts/systems

I commit myself to not give in to energy when in that moment that is all i ‘feel’ like doing, when in a moment it feels to tough/hard, I will not give up/give in to that specific form energy , because now I realize that energy is there solely to feed the ego and keep the mind consciousness system going, as it feeds/thrives off energy

I commit myself to not hold any anger/emotions/thoughts/beliefs/judgement towards myself for all the energy/energetic attachments I created within me, as judgement is also from the starting point of energy, better to accept the fact I created this energy in a time in my life which was not going well, in which I had no tools to fix/sort/find solutions to what I was doing/creating within myself and in my physical reality, I need to let go any harsh judgements I have such as ‘how and why did I do this’, ‘what were you thinking’, ‘how dumb do you have to be to create all this shit within you’, ‘why would you allow yourself to create this bullshit within you’, ‘only an idiot would do this to themselves within themselves’

I commit myself to support myself in my journey to releasing all these energies within myself through the starting point of self care, self love, support, self responsibility, finally taking responsibility for any and EVERYTHING I created within my mind and without my life that has physically manifested due to this energy participation. Instead of self hate, anger, self judgement, fear, desires, worries, concerns, ego and ENERGY, which was the cause/creation for all the bullshit that exist in my life now.