Reactions - Day 12

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘react’ to specific individual ‘thoughts’ that come up inside of me, specific past experiences, memories, interactions, judgements, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself in not realizing that every time I ‘react’ towards these ‘thoughts’ within me, no matter what the ‘thought’ is, I am recreating the same cycle over and over again, in which I will ‘react’ to thoughts if they are specific 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to ‘think’, ‘feel’, that I can allow certain ‘thoughts’, specific ‘thoughts’ in which I end up ‘reacting’ towards them with ‘emotions/feelings’, not realizing , that even if I don’t react to a lot or the majority of the ‘pre programmed thoughts’, the ones I do ‘react’ to, will cause me to create momentum within the ‘reactions’, so ‘thoughts’ i that I may have  stopped having ‘reactions’, towards, I will start ‘reacting’ to those ‘thoughts’again as I’m building an ‘energetic attachment’ towards ‘reacting’ to thoughts 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see that no matter what the ‘thought’ is, if the starting point of that ‘thought’ is kind, I must now allow it in any way, shape or form. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that there’s certain types of ‘thoughts’ I may be more ‘reactionary’ towards

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that the ‘thoughts’ I do react to, have an ‘energetic’ charge, or some form of feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, judgements attached to it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that most of these ‘reactions’ towards ‘specific thoughts’, are self creations, I at some point participating in the ‘creation’ of that ‘reaction’, in which I chose and willfully participated within those ‘thoughts’, creating, forming judgements, ideas, beliefs, emotions, feelings to them

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, that any thought I have a ‘specific reaction’ towards, when that ‘thought’ automatically pop up due to a preprogrammed design, system, habit, pattern, construct is due to me at some point participating/reacting towards that specific ‘thought’, in which it created an ‘energetic attachment’, so now when that same ‘thought’ pop up, it’s tied to specific ideas, beliefs, emotions, feelings, judgements

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tie feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements in relation to ‘specific thoughts’, in which I at a point in time chose to ‘think’ about, and now they come up within me like an automated system/pre programmed design, in which i automatically ‘react’, not realizing it took ‘time’, ‘conscious effort’, creating/forming these specific ‘thoughts tied to emotions/feelings’, so when I react ‘automatically like a preprogrammed design’, there’s no need to be harsh on myself or ‘judgemental’, because instead of ‘reacting’ or once a ‘reaction’ occurs, it’s an opportunity for me to SEE, what exactly was it that I created in relation to that specific ‘thought’, what have I tied to this specific ‘thought/experience’ within me, and Look at it within breath, and self honesty and let these ‘reactions’ go, as they were created in a time I had a lack of awareness, and created them from a starting point of ‘dishonesty, ego, fear, judgement, doubts, worries, anger, revenge, boredom’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, that I just take SELF RESPONSIBILITY for every ‘thought’ I ever formed and created as I was the sole creator of it, so it my duty, to find out WHY I am reacting to certain/specific ‘thoughts’ within me still

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to at some point ‘think, feel’ that these ‘reactions’ were a part of me, that they were normal, that I’m suppose to experience this, to take them lightly, to think of them as not a big deal, not realizing what I was forming/creating within myself from the starting point of mind/ego, and not seeing that I was programming myself in a specific way, and my ‘thoughts’ in a specific way, where within my ‘mind participation’ I was creating much ‘reactions, reactionary thoughts’, tied to emotions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, judgements in relation to specific ‘thoughts’, which manifested into me now ‘reacting’ to ‘thoughts/experiences’ that happened years ago

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be careless and not give it my all, my entire effort, with everything inside of me to stop ‘certain/specific’ thoughts I react to, ‘thinking, assuming, feeling’ that I don’t have to address them, some may take extensive writing, some may take me being brutally self honest within myself, and LOOKING within self, as to what that ‘specific creation/thought’ is inside of me, investigate it, analyze it within the principles of honesty, breath, self forgiveness/self corrective statements, equality and what’s best for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize I can discover/rediscover myself, within these ‘specific thoughts/reactions’ and go back in a point in time to look at these ‘thoughts’ from the view point of self honesty, breath and within that, get a completely different view point, in which I can let go of the ‘ties’ I have to these specific ‘thoughts/reactions’, letting go of them completely, sorting myself, and cleansing myself of those ‘energetic attachments’ I have towards my past/past experiences

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that this cleansing of ‘past thoughts/experiences/reactions’, MUST happen, as this is crucial in my journey to fix/sort/cleanse any and all attachments I have to past thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements, memories, experiences, situations, projections, desires, comparisons, fears, doubts, worries, concerns, systems, habits, patterns, constructs that still exist within me

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how much these ‘reactionary thoughts’ can affect me if I allow myself to participate within them

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that any and all ‘reactions/reactionary’ thoughts that I have residing inside of me, are purely of my own creation, I at a moment in time, chose to ‘focus’ on that specific ‘thought’ , generate ‘energy’ in the form of ‘feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements’ , and may have done this many, many times based on the specific ‘thoughts’ coming up, so some ‘thoughts’ may be much more ‘charged/energetic’ within ‘reactions’ due to specific ‘participation’ and the amount of time I ‘participated within them, so the more ‘reactionary/charged’ the ‘reaction’ is, will show you your ‘participation’ in relation to it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ‘suppressing’ ‘specific reactions’, as something I can just ‘breathe’ through, and not investigate/look at

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to not see and realize that it’s within the investigation/self looking within, that I will find the origin/root cause of the ‘specific reactions’ in relation to ‘thoughts’ coming up within me, and in doing so, I can let go of these ‘reactions’ built up within me over years of ‘mind participation’, and finally sort/fix/cleanse myself of the burden these ‘reactions’ created over time, as these ‘reactions’ are merely a ‘preprogrammed/design/system/construct’, to feed the ‘mind/ego’ ‘energy’, and created from the starting point of the ‘mind, ego, energy/mind participation, dishonesty’

I commit myself to not give myself any room/space within myself to allow ‘reactions’ to exist, no matter what the reaction within is, I either breathe through it, or self investigate/look at the ‘reaction’ coming up within

I commit myself to not ‘judge’ myself for these ‘reactions/reactionary’ ‘thoughts’ informed and created within my self due to ‘mind participation’

I commit myself to realize that these ‘thoughts’ will come up regardless as I created a specific habit/system/pattern/construct/preprogrammed design, due to years of ‘mind participation’, so these ‘thoughts’ will come up , but instead of ‘reacting’, I will breathe through it, I will do the necessary self investigative work/self looking within to find out why and how this exist within me, and finally let it go, to not hold onto it like a burden, struggle, annoyance

I commit myself to not allow these ‘reactionary thoughts’ to affect how I experience myself in the moment, not allowing it to affect my here, and now as I have done in the past, in which I would get annoyed, angered, fed up, sad, depressed, confused when these ‘reactionary thoughts’ would come, one after the other in which I felt overwhelmed. The reality is I was overwhelmed because of the sheer amount of ‘mind participation’ and ‘outflows of thoughts’ I was creating, in which I would ALLOW myself to ‘participate within reactionary thoughts’, due to feeling ‘weak, unable, not capable, not knowing how’ to deal with it, so I would ‘allow’ it, but that stops HERE, as I commit myself to no longer just let these ‘reactionary thoughts’ linger within me/my mind/body as if they don’t exist/suppressing them, I will address them, investigate them, and finally let them go, as these ‘reactions’ have been within me for YEARS

I commit myself to not no longer ‘feel, think’ that these ‘reactionary thoughts’ are not a big deal, in which I would allow them within myself, they are a big deal in terms of taking up space within my mind/body and directly affecting me and how I experience myself in the moment, there ARE consequences in allowing these ‘reactions’ to exist within you, as they will manifest due to ‘mind participation’, and attaching feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgements, energy to them, in which it may also start to affect relationships outside of yourself, based on how you’ve constructed these ‘certain/specific’ reactions

I commit myself to put much more effort into the self investigative work/self looking within that’s needed in relation to these ‘reactionary thoughts’, as I’ve not been giving it my all, I would breathe through them, and some of them would come back, a may have written about them, and some may have come back, which shows I need to be more thorough/specific/concise in my self investigative work, really get to the core of the issues as to why these ‘reactionary thoughts/experiences’ exist within me, and be brutally self honest within myself

I commit myself to not create ANYMORE ‘reactionary thoughts’ within myself, as I already have a ton of them inside of me, in I know in time will show themselves in the many forms it exist, so creating any more will just be adding more unnecessary problems that I will have to deal with, this I can do by focusing HERE, within breath, taking self responsibility for each individual moment, ‘thought’ that comes up, within self honesty, self forgiveness, self corrective statements, self investigation/self looking, self corrective application, to no longer allow me to add to the ‘systems, habits, patterns, designs, constructs’ with ‘energetic attachments’ that already exist within me, I commit myself to stop ‘thinking from the starting point of mind’, and to start ‘thinking/self looking/self investigating’ from the starting point of the physical, and only what’s real’