Confusion - Day 10

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within my mind in the form of thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, memories, judgements, desires, projections, images, fears, worries, concerns, doubts, and within this participation, becoming overwhelmed to the outflow of so many thoughts in which it causes confusion within me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, that within participation in so many outflows of ‘thoughts’, it can cause things like ‘confusion’ and lack of direction, or to lose faith in yourself as there’s so many ‘thoughts’ coming up at once

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make this ‘feeling’ of ‘confusion’ into a habit/pattern, as I’ve participated within this construct for many years, and it always lead to ‘feelings’ of unsure ness, confusion, lack of direction, not knowing what to do in a moment, losing faith, losing confidence, and not realizing this was all due to ‘mind participation’ and getting stuck into a habit/pattern in which I ‘think’ myself into confusion , instead of live, here, within breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, that in participating within this habit/pattern of ‘feeling’ confusion, I decided not to stand up for myself and my life due to ‘feeling’ ‘confused’, and overwhelmed 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that participating these many outflows of random ‘thoughts’, that it caused my ‘mind’ to feel inflated, foggy, discombobulated, overwhelmed due to the sheer amount of ‘thoughts’ and ‘energy’ I was generating within

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume that this is normal behaviour, where you sit/lay and just ‘think’ about random shit in your mind, not realizing that there’s consequences such as ‘feeling’ ‘confused’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live out these ‘consequences’ within my mind and my reality, in which there were many moments/opportunities in my life to stand up for myself , but allowing myself to ‘feel’ confused and beLIEving it to be real, when it in fact wasn’t, it was just an accumulation of the ‘thoughts’ I was participating in

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that ‘confusion’ is a creation of the ‘mind’, if you stick to breath, self honesty, here, in every moment in the physical, ‘confusion’ doesn’t exist as you only focus on what’s REAL, which is physical practical reality, doing the things that you need to get done regardless, focusing on your physical environment, and your goals, and by sticking to the ‘physical’, you cannot ‘feel’ confusion because you’re only participating within what’s real, here, in breath within every moment, not somewhere in your ‘mind’ where you generate thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas about yourself, the world, and others in which it accumulates, and you start to ‘feel’ ‘confused’ as to what’s real and what isn’t, you start to beLIEve your ‘thoughts’ are real when in fact they are not

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that I have to stop this participation and creation of ‘confusion’ and only focus on what’s real, in every moment within breath and self honesty, and not give into the ‘desire’ to ‘think’ about random shit, in which I turn causes ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not seeing, if I continue to participate in this habit/pattern/construct of ‘confusion’ I will miss the crucial moments in my life where I can make change within myself and within my physical reality through the actions that need to be taken

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose trust within myself due to ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’ and ‘thinking’ I’m ‘confused’ in a moment and truly beLIEving that to be real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry, annoyed, disheartened within myself in relation to ‘feeling’ confused in moments in my life, in which I did not realize this this ‘confusion’ was self created, to suppress myself, to feed the ego energy, to create/participate within energy, in which I would ‘feel’ ‘confused’ and that ‘confusion’ would turn into ‘anger’ at myself and the world

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how ‘confusion’ can lead to ‘feelings/emotions’ of anger, annoyance, destructive behaviour, outbursts, reactions, judgements, fears, worries, doubts, concerns, lack of self trust, lack of motivation, unsureness 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself the solutions to fix this problem of ‘confusion’ , in which I sit and write myself out, write out why I ‘feel’ ‘confusion’, what specific ‘thoughts’ are causing me ‘confusion’, what accumulation/thoughts/patterns/habits am I living within and without myself leading me to ‘feel’ confused, because when I’m focused on my breath, within self honest, within each and every individual moment/breath, I don’t ‘feel’ ‘confusion’ , as I’m HERE, participating within my reality and only within the physical guidelines of what’s real, ‘confusion’ doesn’t exist, it’s a self created ‘pattern/habit’ I created to suppress myself and not address the many issues I have in my life that must be addressed, so what I did was ‘create/feel’ ‘confusion’, to not have to keep myself lost within my ‘mind’ in the many forms it exist

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see I have specific patterns/habits/constructs in the way I ‘think’, in which I can clearly see how this ‘confusion’ is created within me, it’s through participating within all forms of thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs within, in which I jump around in my mind from ‘thought’ to ‘thought’, most of which are not correlated, just random thoughts, feelings, judgements, memories, pictures, desires, comparisons , in complete randomness, and once I snap out of this ‘pattern’, I’m ‘confused’, and rightfully so, I should be ‘confused’ because jumping around within your mind in all the forms of ‘thoughts’ that exist, will cause ‘confusion’ because you are not ‘thinking’ practically and taking the real, physical reality into consideration, and how the physical reality does not move within ‘energy/mind’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so ‘addicted’ for the ‘desire’ for ‘energy’ within my mind in all the forms of ‘thought/mind participation’ that exist, thus always releasing to the road of ‘confusion’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for forcing these thoughts, ideas, beliefs, emotions, feelings, memories, experiences, projections, pictures, desires, comparisons, fears, worries onto myself and my ‘mind’, in which in a point in my life I ‘felt’ i had to participate within these forms of ‘thoughts’, ‘feeling’ like I wasn’t alive if I wasn’t participating within these patterns/habits/constructs and set ways of ‘thinking’ 

I forgive myself for NOT giving myself an actual opportunity to sort this ‘feeling’ of confusion outside of me at any point in my life, and just trusting, beLIEving it to be true, when a matter a fact it wasn’t, it was self delusion, a self creation, a specific creation/habit/pattern/construct I made within myself where I would generate enough ‘thoughts’ within myself to the point I would ‘feel’ ‘confusion’ and thus have a reason to not stand up for myself and my life because ‘I ‘feel’ confused in the moment so I can’t take action for myself and my life right now’, ‘I don’t want to do anything right now, I ‘feel’ overwhelmed and ‘confused’’, ‘I’ll do it later, as I am unsure of what I want/need to do, as I have this ‘feeling’ of confusion, doubt, being unsure as to what I have/need to do’, all excuses created by myself within my mind through many years of ‘mind participation’ 

I commit myself to no longer allow myself to participate in ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’ as I now know when I ‘feel’ that ‘emotion’, it means I’ve been participating within my ‘mind’ in the many forms of ‘thoughts’ that exist

I commit myself to no longer beLIEve that ‘confusion’ is real, as it isn’t, it’s a self creation through heavy ‘mind participation’

I commit myself to not avoid taking crucial actions in my life due to ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’ ina specific moment 

I commit myself to no longer generate so many thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, judgements, projections, desires, experiences within my ‘mind’ as it accumulates and leads to ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’ due to being in your ‘mind’ for so long and not Here, within breath, participating in only that which is real

I commit myself to see that ‘mind participation’ creates many outflows of thoughts, which makes it harder for you to SEE, what is real and what isn’t, which I  turn causes ‘confusion’, where as sticking to the breath, here in the physical, as a REAL participant in this reality, in all ways ensures I don’t go into ‘feelings’ of the ‘mind’ such as ‘confusion’

I commit myself to stop the pattern/habit/construct of self created ‘confusion’ through ‘mind participation’ and generating/charging the mind with the many forms of ‘thoughts’ that exist

I commit myself to see and realize that continuing within this pattern/habit/construct/system of ‘confusion’ I will create/recreate the same experiences I have up until this point, and I will not allow myself to delude myself any longer, I have no desire/effort to keep recreating the same cycles/experiences of shit experiences within myself and thus manifested it into my life as a consequence/karma that I have lived up to this point

I commit myself to sort my ‘mind’ out on all levels, through the process of self writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, and in doing so, I ensure I stay physical within, Breath, self honesty and in doing THAT, I will not be participating within creating/reversing the experience, ‘feelings’ of ‘confusion’, as confusion does not exist, here, in the physical, it is up there, in your head/mind where it’s ego, mind, energy where you can ‘think’, ‘create’ anything you want, thus leading to ‘confusion’